Sunday, November 30, 2008

I:The fact resides between your and my heart. The fact that I am incapable of further probing deeper into your heart is a fault of mine and I alone take the blame. But that doesn't mean my love for you is less.

You: If you can't read my heart then what's the use of your love.

I: But I tried.

You: And was that try good enough?

I:Will you give me another chance?

You: It depends on how good your try will be.

I: I can't promise you anything

You:I don't want your promises

I: Then what do you want. I have given you everything I have.

You: I want you

I: But you already have me.

You: It is your soul I want

I:Then how shall I live?

You: You will be inside my heart.

I left the place. What did she mean?

She loved me or hated me. Or did she wanted me to be with her forever. Or did she wanted to be away from me.

Love is derelict, like a drunkard guitar strumming bastard whose notes are all wrong yet the song is delirious and despondent. And why am I in such an inebriated state? Why my love for her is so vague and abstract that I can't think beyond her. Why I am trapped in narrow lanes of nightmare which I see as dreams,my lovely dreams. Does her love matter in my life? If she is in my life will it matter. Or will it be another of those dreams getting washed by a heavy downpour on a sunny day when the skies goes overcast with grey clouds and the rain lashes on the land. It all goes sudden and unplanned. Like when I met her and things went all awry and I fell in love with her. She knows that loving her will be difficult. But then what's the harm in trying out.

The flying lark laughs at my misery
I move around in forest of hopelessness
I see a cleft, I walk through it
I see Prometheus, his pain and agony
chained to a rock,while the gods above
rejoice his suffering
He looks at me, and gives a smile
A vile sorrow pecks my heart
I can't feel sorry for him
Its God's order, It shall be a crime
'Tell me your problem oh stranger.'
'in this garden I am the gardener'
I devoid of my thoughts
tell him about my lover's need
soul or heart, which is more important
life or death or love or hate
'ah stranger, you think a lot'
He smiles and tell me a tale
'Will you live if she is not there?
or will you perish if she is there
Its difficult my friend, to think of love and hate
at the same time when your heart is burdened
Your soul or heart, it doesn't matter a lot
give her both and she shall give you in return
her soul and heart...
Mark my words oh stranger from a strange land
I am cursed till eternity
but it was good to speak to you
now just rush back'

'you met Prometheus.' she asked.

'Yes.' I said, a bit guiltily.

'And what did he told.'

'To give what you ask for.'

'And if I don't take it.'

I kept quiet.

'Why? I love you.' the desperateness in my voice was clear. I wanted her.

'Suppose I am nothing but an illusion.' she said. Her lips drawing a smile

'I don't care. I don't care at all.'

'Why do you love me? Because I am beautiful.'

And again I was at loss of words.

'Think. Think before you want me.' She leaves letting me to think in the solitude of her aura she leaves me. Now do I love her, do I want her or all is this nothing but a pathetic unimaginable sorrowful vortex I am trapped in. I think.

[PS: I have never written such an abstract piece before. And I am wondering myself,what is this all about. Love or Hate. Death. What made me write this. Damn I am confused myself.Anyways happy reading.]